This morning after the school run and waving goodbye to my youngest (he was off to spend the day with my parents) I discovered that, said youngest child, had drawn all over the shelves I had painted and left to dry.
To say I was frustrated would be an understatement. I cried. I actually cried.
I felt an overwhelming surge of emotion, ‘why would he do that?’, ‘no one appreciates me’, ‘what’s the point’ etc. You get the idea.
After my very dramatic outburst, which included throwing a CD that bounced back and nearly hit me on the head, I made a coffee and sat at my laptop.
Now, an hour later, and much calmer I am writing this blog entry for February wondering what the topic should be. Stress? Emotion? 3-year-olds?
I’m going to go with priorities.
Priorities because it strikes me that in the grand scheme of things, the fact that two of my three shelves having white lines all over them isn’t really the worst thing to happen.
(The thought has also occurred to me that really, I shouldn’t have left them to dry on a mat on the floor in the dining room, but hey every day’s a school day).
And so here I am this morning, overwhelmed by ‘all the things I need to do’.
But do I? I mean really?
Yes, certain things cannot be avoided (darn you washing!) but not everything needs to be accomplished today or even this week.
Sometimes I’m great at prioritising but other days the stress from feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks can make it almost impossible to process order and logic.
I’ve googled ‘priorities’:
Do I ever consider myself as a priority?
The increasing amount of information available to us about self-care is built around the premise that we should love ourselves and look after ourselves.
That’s a challenge for me.
For years I was unable to recognise my worth or value, it felt incredibly selfish to put myself first. It still does if I’m honest. Surely I come at the bottom of the list?
‘Once everyone else is happy, I’ll be happy.’
I should say:
‘Once everyone else is happy, I’ll be exhausted and burnt-out, resenting that fact that I’ve not been able to do anything I’d like to do.’
Not to mention the fact that the whole cycle will start again, because our lives are not still.
It is going to be a battle to try to prioritise some ‘me-time’ without guilt, but I’m going to try. This month I’m going to try to do one thing each day that I want to and that makes me happy.
Today I’m going into my garden for a bit. Tomorrow – who knows!
And so I leave you with the question:
What can you prioritise for you today?
Blog by Emma Sithole, Founder, The Recovery Foundation
The Recovery Foundation
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